Main House Kitchen, December 2011

So, beginning of December the man and I moved into the main house with NO kitchen. But only for a while....my Muguyer is a clever bugger, I tell you. This is the kitchen as it stood for almost a year since we bought the place...

Luvverly!!!!! And then the man got stuck in and started to make it look like a proper kitchen.......

And now all we need to do is fit the granite slabs, stoves and oven (and of course get the electricity working), but hey, I'm happy!

HAPPY 2012 EVERYONE - MAY WE ALL BE BLESSED IN ABUNDANCE!

Update on main house - December 2011

And so we are drop kicking 2011 goodbye and welcoming in the new year very soon. Here are some before and after pics of the main broke down farm house. Come a long way. It's looking damn good, even if I say so myself.

Before - the front and the side of the house......

Today....the front and side.....taking shape, slowly but surely!!!!!

Before - the back of the house...............December 2010

Today - back of the house......awwwww......

We'll get there, surely we will.

Nov & Dec 2011 - updates on some interesting times

Ah, so much has happened in the last 2 months. The man moved mom single-handedly to the farm (the belongings of an absolute lifetime), and she is now semi-settled in the cottage. The week preceding the move was pandemonium. The main house was still not plumbed, no sign of a kitchen, and even though we had chased some electrics through the walls, no plugs, no switches, no nada.

My precious antique German piano arrived from mom's house with absolutely no diginity, strapped to the back of a 4x4, over dust roads......and to my surprise (and delight), no additional scratches, and only the bottom C is slightly flat. Damn heavy - at least 6 strapping men to move this baby. Good job MuGuyver!

We managed to clear out the lounge, the bedroom and the bathroom in the main house - and then we moved like demons! On the last day of the move, I was still carting clothes, furniture, fritty little things, back and forth to try and clear the cottage so mom could at least move in and try to make it her own. The dogs were socialised ok I think, thanks to a final frantic call to Pat from Animals in Distress on how exactly to introduce these packs. In my wisdom, I thought I should lock my brood away, let her two dogs out, and then introduce the family one by one.

Pat said that was the worst thing I could possibly do, even though my pack is way bigger and perhaps more aggressive than mom's. Her logic was that this farm belongs to my dogs. They must be out and about, and mom's dogs must take the first step into this territory. Otherwise chances were very big that my dogs would land up killing the "foreigners". We did it Pat's way (I sent mom inside so she couldn't coddle and panic and yell and watch, sigh), and it went well. We are all fine now. Clever Pat!

Moving on. Just before the monumental move, we have this instant bladdy tornado-like wind. Calm one moment, hell the next. We watch in stupefied awe as the double car port slowly collapses onto my little car. Slow motion. Bugger. That poor little car. Stupid double car port.....

So mom is moved in the last day of November, the bull mastiff eventually decides after FOUR hours that perhaps she should get out of the car......send mom inside again.....out the mastiff gets (Magnolia-Mae, LOL), all is well. I did heave a big sigh of relief. It could have been a disaster, truth be told. Mom's dogs have NEVER been socialised. Phew. And there are NO vets in Magalies!

Next day, bright and early, bushy tailed.......have a sarmie with mom and dip all six dogs (mission!). It's 9'0'clock on the morning of the 1st of December. Then the stupid sarmie gives me indigestion. Bugger. Mom starts to faff, I get annoyed and go for a walk. But this damn "stone" in the middle of my chest is really sore. And it's spreading into my shoulders. And my hands are feeling weak. And my jaw feels a bit floppy. I do the right thing, mom makes a doctor appointment, and off I go....still feeling a bit stupid because really, the twelve teaspoons of Bi-Carb I drank just now should surely kick in. Yes?

Doctor does an ECG - and even I can see the man go pale. He gives me some little pill thing, and it was just about then that I felt very "out of this world". I heard phone calls, I heard "helicoptor might be faster than ambulance", and I am not feeling well. And I am getting scared.

Long story short - off to Flora Clinic, cardiologist waiting for me - they do some procedure where they stick a scope right up your artery from your groin and poke around in your heart (eeek - that felt so weird) - confirmed full-on heart attack and into ICU for days. WTF? I haven't even turned 45 years old yet. Crazy stuff. Hoping that meds will strengthen the heart muscle in the left coronary artery (which collapsed and stopped blood flow apparently), otherwise they will put a stent in. Sh*t.

Anyway - all done now - up the ying-yang with all sorts of heart meds. Read the inserts of the medication the other day - oh what a bad move - what was I thinking? Feeling tired, but good.

And now begins the work on the main house kitchen......and to get the bathroom up and running......but as you will see in the next few posts, we did good......nearly there for now!

Between all of this, I got tick bite fever. Then I sprained my ankle. Then mom fell up the stairs. Then mom got tick bite fever.

Bring on 2012. Please......

OCTOBER 2011 - TYING UP LOOSE ENDS

Well it certainly has been an interesting and stressfull year. Mom and I finally sold our house in Jozi, papers signed, deal done. She is moving into the cottage here on the farm, and the man and I will move into the main house. What a job. Main house has absolutely no plumbing or electrics chased in the walls, no bathrooms, no kitchen. Still have to install all the burglar bars and security gates to make it safe and the slate floor is a disaster. LOTS of work to be done.

The man has started to move mom and all her belongings, the gatherings of a lifetime. So much stuff. And she is stressing no end about bringing her two dogs here. One Mastiff and one Russell. Ah well, we will just have to cope. Live in harmony or bugger off, I say. (Meanwhile back at the ranch, I'm am also sh*tting myself at the initial introduction...)

The rains have come. A few flash storms which didn't do much, but now a nice fine rain has set in and it's really looking beautiful here. Farmer Brown mowed the lawn the other day in his ol' John Deere. Still having to drag it down the road to start it, but it does the job.

Patio of the main house looking a whole lot better with a built in bar and jet master braai place. We've used it a lot already - much fun!

I think we will make a lot of memories here.

Cottage - THEN and NOW (Jan 2011 to Oct 2011)

Ah what a sweet little cottage this turned out to be. It was so sad when we first got here. I reckon if the roof gets a lick of pine needle green paint, she'll be almost perfect!

A bit of trivia here.....the previous owner popped in for a visit. Said the rights things you know, like, ah, so much work done, looking good, etc etc. Told him I battled a bit through winter with all the plants dying, but we were trying our best to get all the shrubs and trees going again. He said "Ja, best you do, my dead ma's ashes are buried under that Cape May" and points to a bush that I thought was long dead. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! What a thing to say!

So with copious watering and pleading and classical music, I coaxed the bladdy thing back to life. Thank the Lord. It's the brilliant bush in the front of the pic with tons of pretty white blooms.

Shew! My nerves, I swear. Hope you're happy Mrs Harper. Just stay where you are.....

Whahahahahahaha!

September 2011 - Sundowners on the raft!

Late afternoon is always the best time here, and now that the days are not so cold, and things are looking a tad greener, we decided to get onto our raft (clever Farmer Brown) and drift into the middle of the dam. We had a small braai, a couple of drinks, and just sucked up the loveliness.

The cottage in the background is the first one we started to build, Cottage Callum. It's nearly done, just the inside fittings left to do.

But ah......nothing like Mother Africa to lift your spirits. This was a good day!

29 September 2011 - ESKOM !!!!!!

Whoop whoop, happy dance of bladdy note. Eskom finally decided that perhaps we poor peeps deserved power. And they arrived en-masse to install it for us.

Then, in all their Eskomly wisdom, they promptly threatened to lock the power box they had just installed because we couldn't supply them with a Compliancy Certificate. WTF? The place is a shell. There is no wiring left, everything has been stripped. There is NOTHING to comply with, but if they lock that damned box, we can't even carry on fixing the place.

I stomp off to get my 38 - I am going to blow that damn lock straight off that box.

The man willingly liberates half his nursery stock (apparently electricians garden too), and by the time I get back, Eskom is gone and he is a happy Farmer Brown with a key in his hand.

It's a good week. Mom and I sold our house, my friend got a killer job.....yip, things are looking up indeed!

SEPTEMBER 2011 - GETTING READY FOR THE RAINS

Things are moving slowly along here on the farm, and the man has cunningly built three more dams without me even knowing. And now we have the threat of rain, and MANY dam walls that are not re-inforced, and probably not packed down hard enough to withstand any amount of rain coming down our river.

And so the panic begins. Thank heavens we have tons of trees lying around that the last idoits who stayed here chopped down and left lying everywhere. The man spends 3 days dragging huge logs down to the dams and making the walls stronger. Lots of work.

And the rain does not come......yet.....LOL!

Here's a quick YOU TUBE link showing Farmer Brown dragging a tree behind the faithful old 4x4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG49p12j6cA

WATCHING OUR DAM PROGRESS

ONE...

TWO....

THREE!

I thought it might be nice to see the progress of the dam. From the time the TLB's moved in to get rid of the bush and dig great big holes, to when the water started to arrive, and to now, as of September....what a clever Farmer Brown I have !!

SUMMER - BRING IT ON!

The days are definitely warmer and things are starting to get greener. Too nice. The man and I took the two little old row-boats out on the dam and what fun we had. That was 2 days ago and I still have a stiff neck (must be the rowing, you think?)

The water is crystal clear and we spotted one of our big fish weaving his way along the bottom.

I have never had a hobby which stretched further than singing on stage or opening a good bottle of red. This could be it folks, this could very well be it!

Happy days!!

BABY CALLUM CAME TO VISIT!

Ah - look at this preciousness that is the man's first grandbaby!! He is 3 months old - baby Callum. Such a sweetheart. The man and has taken mom off on a bundu bashing expedition to see the farm and the fishing lodge, and I am with baby. The bird is drop dead jealous and won't stop screeching - he shall be chicken pie in a moment.

Good thing I am past my sell by date - this kidlet is too beautiful!

Our borehole is sick!

Oh my word.......just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.

Look at what the borehole is spewing out! This is what was left behind after we ran a bath.....full of sand and silt. I hope the borehole isn't collapsing in on itself. What will we do out here in the sticks with no clean water?

Eish. Not good!!

Stuck in the mud....again.....19 July 2011

Ah the joys, the absolute joys of building a dam.

This morning the man hired in a TLB machine again to fix and strengthen one side of the dam wall. Which seemed to go well. Until he decided to test drive the workmanship. And slid off. And he got stuck. Properly. The TLB had to drag him out of the mud.

Then at 5 o’clock, after starting a lamb stew, old Farmer Brown had to go and take one more drive around the fishing lodge (and the newly supported dam wall). And time passed. And more time passed. I could vaguely hear an engine revving in the distance….very vaguely – it could well have been another hive of bees making a home in the house.

Yip, the man was stuck in the mud again. On the side of the dam wall in a deep ditch. And the TLB had long since gone home. What a fuss. What a mess. The papers showing our GPS co-ordinates for peg points where we must put our fences fell out the window. All the receipts for the building of the lodge fell out the window. Farmer Brown’s hat fell out the window.

I switched off the stew, ran a HOT bath (thank you Lord for small mercies), poured some wine and got in to unwind…..steeped like a tea-bag, I did.

At 8.30pm he eventually dragged his muddy self into the house. Got the truck out with the help of 3 other people, in the pitch dark and the freezing cold. Determination like a bull-dog with a bone that man!

Ah shame – I think it took 2 days to get the mud out of his nose. Another “what were you thinking” moments, eh Farmer Brown?

And we all know, if you laugh….you’re a bad person.

Sigh.

PS : The papers and the hat? Still missing, probably fish food by now, hehehehehe.

Intelligent Bulbs - HALLELUJAH

Look look look - oh my soul - a winter bulb that has grown down, and now UP!!!

 

Happy dance - happy dance !!!!

 

 

Before and nearly-after - BATHROOM

Beautiful inviting bath.....

Best we wash our hand in the broken toilet, yes? WTF? No basin...

Bit better nowadays, don't you think?

Here's the bathroom in the cold cottage....still not done properly, but what a difference.

And yes, there is the dratted toilet that I fell off.....

Some BEFORE and almost-AFTER pics...Cottage Kitchen

Poor little cottage when we bought....

Luffly - stripped kitchen

Almost fitted - this is much better these days !

I think it's time to show a bit of the work that we've done here. I'll do it bit by bit, and start with the cold cottage. Still not done, no internal electricity cables ( we have to re-chase them with an angle grinder through the stupid walls) or switches (all ripped out and sold for scrap by moronic previous owners). Man also had to rebuild the staircase which was stolen, and there was once a fire place (I think a Jet Master) - gone too. Remember also there were no window panes, and 2 of the big windows were pulled out completely, just big gaping holes where once there were windows and frame. Same with kitchen door. Just a hole in the bricks.

Ok - we will start with the kitchen......

Update on the main house

Stupid Patio that broke the man's head....

Original tiled roof with Dallas-style patio (yuk!)

These thatchers worked like demons!

New full frontal of thatched roof and no frickin Dallas arches obscuring view - YAY!

Well, we are still in the cold cottage trying to fix the main house (which has THE most amazing fire place) and at the same time get the fishing lodge going so there's some income coming into this household. The thatching is done - HALLELUJAH! And it looks good. We're not sure what the previous owners were thinking when they TILED the whole roof OVER the original thatch. When we looked more closely at the whole house after we had bought, we saw that the roof was far too heavy for the house, and the walls were starting to buckle and crack!

So we took off all the tiles and brandering, and did a new thatch job. I am way impressed!

And we removed the stupid "Dallas" style patio. Again, what what what were they thinking? The patio roof sloped down at a really steep angle (the man bashed his head open trying to get under it - don't laugh or you're a bad person) and cut off ALL the view down the valley and up the hill. Made the lounge really dark - couldn't see a darn thing from inside.

And of course, every single pane of glass had been broken, and the chickens thought that our main house was theirs. Yip, that's where they roosted and played housie-housie. So we decide to replace all the panes of glass. Mmmm......after day two, the guys came to me and said "please feed your chickens!"

Huh?

Seems the chickens were eating all the putty out of the new windows as fast as they were being put in. Ate the putty out so clean that you wouldn't even know that there had once been fresh putty there! Ah, I ask you with tears in my eyes!! So the glass was put on hold for about a week while we built a chicken coop. And in the meantime, the biggest window simply fell out. Just like that. I guess that's what putty-less windows do - they fall out!

Still some miles to go, but at least we are seeing some progress. All good.....

Eish but it's cold - Passion-Killer cold!

I'm not too sure what makes a 4x4 splutter and fart, and backfire louder than a 38 special, but ours is doing that. Couple to this loud jerky travel machine, 30cm flames that shoot out the side every 20 seconds when we drive into the town. Sigh. I've been trying to sit low and hide behind my Raybans, but I've realised this is a futile attempt at anonymity. People know its us. DUH!

Today it is well below freezing and our goose pond is a solid block of ice. I know it is solid because I rested a full box of biscuits on it, and the man's favourite pen. I could probably have sat on it myself. The wind is bringing down the temperature too (as well as 4 of my glass lanterns which were hanging outside). Some of our windows still don't have latches, and there is a round window in the lounge that has been too high and too oddly shaped to replace. And of course.....ta-ra...no electricity!

I now dress according to my station in life which is plotta-ma-plotter girl, or squatter farm lady. The man is not much better. And I care not.

Bring it on, Mother Nature, I can still add copious layers of socks, spencers, long-johns and hats! At least if I fall down on the iced up ground, I'll probably bounce right back up, like the Michelen Man!

I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!

And give us an Old Brown Sherry, dammit....

...But she forgot about my ol' John Deere...

Ah, memories are made of this.....

Brings back fond memories of my dear homie o'Richieeeeee - Richard Thompson - currently doing another long stint in the UAE with his band. He sings country that will rock your cotton picking socks right off.

This, friends, is how we start our John Deere (which I have learned recently is German, not American) because the starter motor is still stuffed.

And today, we have to be thankful for small mercies. Mercies like - oh, no, we don't have electricity yet, thank you Eskom....because the man ran over an electricity cable with the slasher, which promptly wound its stupid self around everything at the back of the tractor, and brought everything to grinding halt. Literally.

Very small video clip attached - quality bad, as usual ( but at least I managed to hurtle out the front door, no geese in sight).....

Sigh....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTr9_rwLYj0
WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - I AM FINISHED!!

As if a tractor ain't enough...

Oh my hat. And it's the end of May. And life continues in the wild. So......we hire ANOTHER huge TLB machine because we need to get cracking on this dam we are building (but it's looking good so far me thinks), make campsites, etc ad nauseum. And the weekend comes....so the TLB owner decides to leave this monster machine with us, because really, even in the arse-end of the bush, nobody even in Africa is going to steal it. Are they?

Well......

The man decides, in his infinite manly-wisdom, that this earth moving giant can't be that difficult to operate. Can it?

And he steals it. Yip, he truely does.

What a farmer brown. How he managed to get up there in the first place is just beyond me. Let's not talk about operating it with only one leg (gasp). And its got a big scraper digging thing at the front and a big squashy thing at the back. And he PLAYS with it for a very long time. the chickens and Bartholomew and I barely escaped with our lives.

And all he did was make a humungous mess which we had to clean up by hand afterwards so the TLB dude wouldn't know his machine had indeed been hijacked, in the arse-end of the bush!

Bloody McGuyver. What next?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8Gtl8wIWCs

http:/www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtF34kvq7xw

SISTER OF THE SOIL?

16 MAY 2011 - and I decide that if nothing else, surely I can have a garden that smiles and looks nice. So off we hie to the local co-op and buy 110 (expensive) winter bulbs for the garden that I plan to create.

I diligently and with great care plant :

• 35 Freesias


• 25 Fabiolas


• 25 Tritonias


• 25 Anemomes

I plant an inconceivable number of Nasturtium seeds and Hollyhocks (and then notice that the Hollyhocks will only bloom in ELEVEN MONTHS!!)

I get creative and plant 3 Hyacinths in a beautiful glass bowl with water and colourful pebbles. They'll stay inside and brighten my world too.

I plant a Yukka tree, I move wild African Violets around, transplanting them with great care. I stake up rambling rose bushes and plant 5 chilli bushes (which I later learn will promptly die with the first sign of frost). I plant bushels of Parsley (which the chickens immediately eat off so that only bare stalks are left poking out the ground). I plant Fennel and Coriander, Mint and Garlic Chives.

At the end of the day, I am well pleased with myself. I am a sister of the soil, a woman of Africa, I am the creator of all things bright and beautiful in my tiny and wild little world.

The man comes home (after playing with his tractor or something) and I proudly display my still sparse but clearly worked-on garden, and as a grand finale, my beautiful bowl with 3 Hyacinth bulbs sitting on top, waiting to bring us sunshine.

Man : Those bulbs are upside down.
Me : No, can't be.
Man : Did you read the packet?
Me : Yes.....but.....
Man : Are you sure?
Me : (silence)
Man : Those bulbs are upside down.

Sigh. I say a silent prayer that I have purchased intelligent bulbs that will somehow grow down, and then up. ONE HUNDRED AND TEN WINTER BULBS!

I can't dig them up, as the man so cleverly suggested - they are strewn in wild abandon all over the place, interspersed with hundreds of tiny little seeds - I know not where they are!

Note to self : Perhaps one shouldn't approach gardening like cooking, or painting abstract art. Perhaps this requires a bit more fore-thought or structure....

I have failed my winter bulbs. I have condemned them to grow upside down into the very depths of the cold dark earth. How very sad.

PS : It is 17 June now, and nothing, apparently, is growing down and then up......faith like potatoes dear heart, it may still happen!

Mother's Day 8 May at new dam....

Had a lovely Mother's Day, with mother (of course). Picture is taken early in the morning (still in my townie silk PJ's, no less) in front of the new dam. Actually, in the exact same spot that we went "slip sliding away" at. The dam is much bigger than the pic shows, very deceptive. We've attracted a ton of bird life - so nice to see. Many different ducks and water fowl.....

This pic is also taken where earlier I posted a photo of the TLB digging a great big hole. Filled beautifully.

Water is so soothing.....good for the soul.....as long as it behaves I guess, and doesn't decide to take over and wash us all away, which is what it almost did on the evening of 7 June.....but that is another story!

STUCK in the 4x4 at the Overflow of the end of the dam....

Ah farmer brown - whatcha gonna do now?

Stuck in the overflow at the end of the dam! Photo taken from inside the bakkie....

Never a dull moment!!

PS : We got out - eventually - and overnight we had hellish rains, this part of the dam is completely flooded today.....Mother Nature and Water will not be fooled with....LOL

25 March 2011 - The New Dam

The man has decided to start a fishing lodge here instead of building some cottages and dealing with crappy tenants, and so the building of the dam commences. With great enthusiasm and admittedly, a whole lot of vision his part.

After two giant TLB's have scraped away what I believe to be a giant crater, and some river water is filtering in, we stand and gaze at the dam. And gaze some more. And then the man realises that the original dam wall was WAY further down and at least 15m higher than he first thought. What we have done is built a POND that may very well be washed away with the first threat of rain.

Back to the drawing board.

My nerves.....LOL!

Farmer Brown and his new John Deere 23 March 2011 and the WATER SAGA

Well, it had to happen. We had to buy our first toy - a John Deere tractor with a slasher dragging behind. Had to bring it here from miles away on a flatbed truck, which got a puncture on the road in the middle of nowhere halfway home.

Battery, according to the owner, is flat. Ok, so we'll just buy a new one. But until we get said battery, we have to use the tractor. So.....picture the scene. We are going to "push start" this bladdy great heap by towing it down the hill, towards the river, with the MERC! What a sight, can't even tell you. I tried to get out the house to take a pic of all this madness, but the geese wouldn't let me through. You're just going to have to believe me! LOL. But ol' McGyver gets it right without barreling into the river.....engine turns and the big green and yellow machine is live!

Off goes Farmer Brown in his tractor.....way way down until he's a speck in the distance. Chug chug choef choef...and promptly runs out of diesel! And we all know, if you laugh, you're a bad person....

In the meantime we have discovered that the bore hole motor we bought is too small to pump water.
We buy a bigger one.
It still doesn't work.
We discover that the bore hole broke long ago.
We have to sink a new one.
So we do.
We discover that the bottom of the borehole has caved in with clay.
We fix it.
Still won't pump. Pulleys are not strong enough.
So we get new ones.
Still won't pump. Pulleys are not long enough.
So we get new ones.

MONDAY 18 APRIL - Running water - albeit through a hosepipe that is shoved through the bathroom window. HALLELUJAH! Nobody will taste it. I do. I'm not scared! It's filtered through a hectic layer of clay, not so? And so we fill the bath with cold water.....and we REJOICE!

Takes about a week for the man to hook up the water tank to the house taps. He's smart, this man of mine!

PS : A new battery didn't solve the mystery of the non-starting tractor. It needs a new starter motor!